the ashley show

my life is a joke. so in addition to that saturday disaster that was supposed to be a simple trip to six-flags (see the post below) i faced another ridiculous morning early last week. it all started when my friends and i had purchased some tickets to a gyptian concert in worcester. we were extra excited about it all week long and on wednesday made the long hours drive, blasting music and having a great time all the way to worcester only to face an empty venue. we stepped out of the car, strutted up the street in our tiny dresses only to meet the ugliest handwritten poster plastered on the door that read "gyptian concert postponed until this weekend." we couldn't help but sit ourselves down on the sidewalk and bust out in outrageous laughter, telling ourselves that we should've known something like this would happen, i mean.. what else could you expect from a hoodrat-managed concert? but whatever, we shrugged it off and saved the outfits and planned to do it all again the next day.

at 7am thursday morning i woke up pretty abruptly, wondering if i had evolved into a fucking charmander in my sleep because my throat felt like i had swallowed a fireball. the pain gets increasingly horrendous with every minute so i immediately make my way to the clinic to get myself checked out. turns out i tested negatively for strep throat but was on the brink of some sort of throatal puss epidemic so my doctor perscribed some antiobiotics and specific instructions regarding tylenol, something about not being able to take advil and sternly warned me not to go anywhere or be near anyone if i felt a fever because that meant the strep had taken over and i'd be highly contagious.. i wasn't really listening because i was still trying to decide if i would wear the same dress to the gyptian-repeat concert later that night or if i'd try something new.

i make my way to the pharmacy to get the meds. i wait for about half an hour (on top of the two hours i waited at the clinic) only to get up to the counter and realize i'm five bills short. i had to rush back home and scrounge up five dollars before heading back, but of course, that would be no easy task. on my way home i was talking to my mother on the phone and explaining how i must be under a bad luck spell or something. at one point in the conversation i say to her "i dont know, maybe i need to go to church or something" and as god is my witness a young lady and an older man jumped out of a bush (seriously, they came straight out the woodwork) and said "did we just hear someone say they need church? well, we've got a church for you!" the next twenty minutes of my life consisted of lots of bible quotes and pastel colored pamphelts and promises that jehovah would save me.. i didn't want to be rude so i stood there and just took it all. i took the lady's number and told her if i needed jesus i'd call. long story short: meds - one hour overdue. fever - yes. gyptian - no. miserable? - why, of course. oh, this sitcom i call my life.